Two posts in a day. What am I doing?
A short term bucket list:
1. Make a new composition for piano
2. Record that song that I don't know where I put the lyric (at least I remember in which notebook I wrote it! But where the hell is the notebook???)
3. Upload something new for Tembangcilik, for sake! It's been 5 months!
Btw I just got a news. I supposed to go to Lombok for holiday on Christmas with my aunt, her family and her friends. She's the one who arrange everything. I was very shocked to know that my aunt booked the wrong ticket. She booked it for 25 NOVEMBER instead of DECEMBER. And she just realised it yesterday, which means 6 tickets are gone, unused, just like that.
Seriously? Like, seriously?
And now I don't know what will happen with my holiday anymore.
I suddenly had an urge to do my "reading your past blog post" ritual. I read until my 2009 posts, which means the posts that recorded 4 years of my life.
My conclusion? I changed.
It seems like I've changed into someone that's.... serious, less fun, over thinking, too prepared. I feel I've become firmer, an almost 30 female who easily annoyed with small things. I don't know why I changed. Probably the life itself and the harsh reality where I'm in now affect these changes. Probably the fact that I'm still as indecisive as before about the future. Or probably because I might not be able to become what I wanted to be. Or probably, least but not least, I'm just tired with everything, tired of fighting alone, and by being more sarcastic and annoying is how I cope with my tiredness.
So I've changed. Probably not for the better. But I know there is still this sensitive crazy happy Miranti inside. She might not around at most of the time, but she'll linger.
- Music:Ella Fitzgerald - You've Changed
Whoever thought 2013 will end soon? It feels like time passes very quickly. I don't feel I have done enough this year, but let's skip the "year end" rant to next time.
I read this article
, about how the millennials (including me), have different view on how to live their life. We basically are not really aiming to be materially satisfied, but to be spiritually and mentally fulfilled. We are aiming to have a meaningful life (as for me, a meaningful and happy life).
If you read some of my previous posts, this issue always become my concern: How can my existence in this world have a meaning for others? Of course I can't answer this question. Who am I, being so proud and smug, saying that my existence is meaningful for others? Nevertheless, for me, there is nothing better than knowing that there are people that positively affected by what I have done. And to be able to do that, I think I have to try to be a better person, someone that's selfless, sincere, and patient. What a big task to do!
So if there are people out there who said, "Thank you, Miranti, for making me happy", believe me, it will be one of the greatest honour for me. In my life. Ever.
*rakujitsu: Setting sun, a song from the legendary Tokyo Jihen, which I really fond of.
People said happiness is simple. You can feel happy just from small things. For me, happiness is very important in life. And just like life itself, sometimes it feels very difficult to be happy, sometimes it feels very easy and natural.
So, what's your happiness today? A friend said, every night before the day ends, mention 3 things that can make you happy. You'll feel much grateful and happy afterwards.
And my happiness today are: a great weather, a good response for my work, and.....
The annual post of "I'm getting older, yet not getting wiser". I'm 27 now, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for, nor deciding which path that I want to take for my future.
I'm such an indecisive girl who want to do lots of things. I can't choose. I want them all, but I'm such a lazy ass. Isn't it ironic?
The point is, I'm getting older, yet it feels like I'm going nowhere.
Suddenly I feel like making another song. There's this melody within my previous song that I would like to develop as a new song. Yes, this is the continuation of Kisah Dua Insan (Tale of Two Lovers).
Dalam dekap kelam malam
Mengharap nyanyian kasihmu
Dalam sesak kuberdoa
Dalam diam kupinta
Rengkuhan hangat di kalbuku
Bagai terang bintang timur
Bagai fajar menyeru
Begitulah adamu, rindu
Bagai tetes embun pagi
Bagai senandung murai
Kau bawa harap, bahagiaku
Dalam diam, dalam sesak, dalam dekap kumenatap
...without a parachute, and your body is crashed to the earth.
This is bad, very bad. I feel like runaway again from reality. It's been on my mind in the past months, but the urge is getting stronger. Should I just... find some schools or project abroad again? It's not easy to find one, but probably there's something for me somewhere.
I hate myself sometimes.
- Music:Saving all my love for you
This is a tale, about two lovers that had to surrender to time and distance.
Slowly the spark is gone, replaced by emptiness.
Hope was swept away, leaving an open wound that God knows when to heal.
This is a real story, but not mine.
A Tale of Two Lovers (Kisah Dua Insan)
Lyric and Music by me.
(rough lyric translation)
A tale of two separated lovers
Stretched by distance
Longing for a glimpse of ray
From the sparkling eyes
The dim of twilight is whispering
The darkness of nightfall is seeping
The longing ballad is continuously lulling
But the time keeps on running
The unity is not a unity any more
Gone, without hesitance
The tale of two separated lovers
Slowly ceased to tell affections
Not again together
Two lovers, cannot be together
The ray of sun are swept away
From the sparkling eyes
Leaving a hollow...
ps: I'm not sure whether it's my english that sucks or the lyric really sounds awful in English
- Music:Kisah Dua Insan
So after 2 years, I finally back covering Eito songs. But.... this time, I cover it together with kazukiayuuma
Koko ni shika nai keshiki, SCP version, vocal and piano cover.
You might think that this is just another amateur fan cover. Well, it is. But at least, give it a try, watch this video, tell us whether you like it or not, and support all other fan cover out there.
So, here it is. Koko ni shika nai keshiki.
- Music:Koko ni shika nai keshiki
It's funny how a bunch of people who mostly don't know each other can collaborate online, just because we love similar things: music and Indonesia.
I don't do valentine, but this year, it's a special one. Happy valentine's day, Indonesia <3
ps: try to spot me in this video!
- Music:Tanah Air
I am very happy to know that tembangcilik
is well received by lots of people!
We receive lots of positive feedback for our project. We also plan to do more than just covering classic children Indonesian songs.
Meanwhile, enjoy two of my personal favourite tembangcilik video.
Never ever in my life I thought that I will say this: I'm in love with the image of New York City.
Really, visiting USA is the least thing on my mind. If you ask me which country that I wanted to visit, it was Japan and Greece. Now when I feel Japan is already quite saturated and Greece's exotic image is gradually gone in my mind, I feel like I need a new "dream country".
I never had any urge to visit USA. Probably because the image of USA in my country is not that good. Not to mention my mom got her disease there. I just.. don't trust USA that much. But people change and time flies. Add my addiction to White Collar (seriously, who can resist Matt Bomer's blue eyes? And the UST between Neal and Sara? Spot on!), along with hundreds of movies with setting in New York. Bam! Suddenly I have this urge to see NYC.
But really, which part of it that makes me fall for the image of NYC? Probably because it's bursting with energy, probably because it's where people from various part of the world go to catch their dream, probably because they have broadway, probably because they have central park, I seriously don't know. But it feels like NYC is a city of dream, and if someday I can visit that city, it probably gonna feel like a dream comes true.
But, yeah, I think it's gonna be impossible for me to visit NYC. It's just.., beyond my imagination, capacity and capability.
This is a very random post.
- Location:my bed
- Music:Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes aka Seasons of Love
(I'm not going to LJ-cut this so if you don't want to read it, skip it now)
I think I'm very lucky that, I already experience living in different cultures. I lived abroad in two countries and visited more than a dozen of countries and hundreds of cities. This kind of experience really open my eyes on lots of things, but the most important thing is how I appreciate my own roots.
I had a discussion with a friend now. She said how her visit to foreign country for a week changed her perspective about public services in Jakarta.
I totally agree with her. I found my self keep on complaining about LOTS of things. From the cashier at carrefour and AlfaMart that sooo slow (much slower than Woolies!), people who won't line, to the bus that won't stop in the bus stop but in the middle of the road! People around me might think that I'm too picky, but what makes me disappointed is not the public service itself, but the fact that Indonesians can do much better, but we don't do it
I am a person of reason. I try to understand lots of things from various perspectives, and that's what I do with the public services here. For example Why the cashier is so slow?
From my point of view, it's because
a) For people who pay with credit cards, they don't have the credit card machine in every cashier (SERIOUSLY???). The solution? FOR GOD SAKE PUT THAT D*** MACHINE IN EVERY CASHIER.
b) They deliberately don't open all cashier. Solution? Hire more people, open those cashier.
c) The human resources are that slow. Solution? Train them, and really, show them Aldi or Woolies or Coles cashier videos, and see how efficient a cashier can be.
d) They took time to put the groceries to the plastic bag. Solution? Seriously Indonesian consumer, don't be a lazy ass and put those to the bag by yourself!! And more, bring your own bag to save the plastic bag.
This simple thing shows that the solution is there, is just whether we want to do it or not. And you can't rely only to one stakeholder to change, but all of us. I complain, a lot, but it's because I care about public services in Jakarta, not because I'm a spoilt female who have experienced better public services thus I'm looking down at public services in Jakarta. I want Indonesia to be better, and this is how I show my care.
Why I wrote this? Because I had enough of fellow Indonesians being pessimistic about this country.
know our country is far from perfect, but if you think this is NOT your home and you dislike living here and would love to escape forever, seriously, are you mental? This the place where you can go out at any time and still can find food every where. This is the place where you don't have to think about using different clothes every three months. This is the real place to find great food in a very reasonable price (two most delicious food in the world? nasi goreng and rendang
).This is the place where even though sometimes they're annoying, people are really care about each other, This is the place where I born, grew up, and probably spend the rest of my life. This is where my treasured family and friends are coming from.
I mentioned this sooo many times in my blog, but if it's not us, who will? If we're pessimistic, who will make the change? If all of us think that we can't be better, then it won't be better. Au contraire, if we have the will to be better, then a change from a person is already a great leap.So stop whining and do something.
I was shocked to hear that one of my friend was gone forever. Opa or grandpa, that's what we call him. I don't know why he was called opa even though he's still quite young (30 something). But just like an ol grandpa, he is a very nice man. He always willingly help anyone who is in need.
I know Opa from our choir. Not only he had a solid voice, he was also very artsy. I'm not really sure but it seems he's a decorator or artistic designer. You can see his works here
May you rest in peace, Opa. You will be missed. I'm sorry I can't fulfil my last promise to you. But where ever you are, the voice of my piano will always be with you. Thank you for your kindness and for your faith in me.
Since I came back home, somehow I feel... lost.
When I was in Canberra, I always have someone that I can rely to. I have my fellow musician friends, my big "sisters" that always feed me with food and stories, my academic advisor and supervisor who always guide me, basically, I felt a very strong attachment with people around me in Canberra.
Now in Jakarta, I know it's my home, but this big urban jungle somehow feels too harsh for my liking. I don't know who are the people that I can rely too, I don't know fellow musician friends that I can count for (honestly speaking, somehow I can't rely to my friends from my university orchestra), not to mention my mom. I don't know any more who can I called as my best friend.
I feel guilty every time I think it feels better to live abroad. I'm Indonesian, and I want to do something for my country. I don't really care about comfortability of life here in Jakarta cause I'm used to it. But this is such a big and busy city, you can't just call a friend and drop by. You don't just decide to go somewhere a minute before you go. You don't just trust someone that you just met. Indonesian are very spontaneous and open, but somehow Jakarta burns them all and trap us into this bottomless cruelty of metropolitan world. The bitching, the traffic jam, the cruel people that seems always blame others, the broken promises, I started to feel sick of this. No wonder I enjoy living my simple life in Canberra. Not to mention all the love that I receive from people around me, it just feels.... good.
Yet, I'm a fighter. I'm realistic yet a dreamer. I might lost here, but hopefully I'm back on track. I'll find people that I can trust with, fellow musicians that I can play with, I'll feel again the love of the people around me, and top of it, I'll survive, again, like always.
As for Jakarta, we have hope if we want and try to do something about it. I truly disrespect people who says we don't have any hope for this city, especially when they don't do anything nor contribute anything about it. All of us can make a change, even though it's a small one. Things as simple as honesty, a smile, and a helping hand can have a lot of impact. So, try something.
I'll end my rant here. In the end, the love that you give and receive to and from others really means a lot.
I will not give full report of my trip, however, I would like to higlight some things:
1. I still have money on my yuucho ginko (JP Bank) account! What a pleasant surprise.
2. I'm not pleased with the result of my master disesrtation.
3. One of the best moment in life is meeting your old friends that you haven't seen for ages.
4. My university is still the same, so does the city.
5. Heated toilet set is one of the best invention everrrrrr.
6. It wasn't a date, wasn't it?
7. I'm broke. I spent too much money on food and fabrics.
8. I visited places that I never visited before.